As we go through life, it is a never-ending struggle to be happy. You can't have the good without the bad; it is what creates perception.
If you were to wish for your perfect life as you imagine it now and it became true...you would soon grow unsatisfied. What seems so great to you now, would lose it's worth. You as a human, would grow greedy and want something else; you would want more. What was so "perfect" before, is only the norm now and you would be right back to square one, where you are now. As selfish as an idea that is, it is only human nature...that is apart of us all in some way. We only want the best, we only want the best for others. We just want to be happy. And as cliche as all of this is, it doesn't make it any less untrue.
I recently had to cure my case of temporary Glaucoma *cough*...and I had an epiphany. Now this won't sound ground-breaking at all to most people...you will be like, "Duh? Your point?"
But it is simply, that I finally understand that: Everything is significant. Everything.
I think we can all agree that there is a difference in knowing something...and then feeling something. I can say something, and you will understand what I am saying but you won't, "Get it." You won't understand the significance, the...severity of which I mean to get across. Easy example: I love you. Three little words...but they can mean So much. Love is more a feeling than a thought...love is often just irrational. But it Just Makes Sense. Once you have experienced(?) it...you finally "Get it." And it is so much more than simply understanding the concept.
And that was my epiphany the other night...and I went on a 2 hour rant, I actually recorded about an hour of it. I basically wouldn't shut-up. I felt like I could never communicate it enough, that I wasn't getting through to the person I was talking to. And as I was talking...I was having realization after realization of things I already knew, but it wasn't until then that I fully understood. See the difference? And here is the kicker if you think about it...here I am continually trying to explain it now, and I still don't feel satisfied. When you probably understood what I meant right from the start...but I'll never know if you "get it" or not.
Everything is significant, everything has an effect on everything else...somehow, whether or not you realize it.
A quote from Synecdoche, New York (A must see by the way):
"Everything is more complicated than you think. You only see a tenth of what is true. There are a million little strings attached to every choice you make. You can destroy your life every time you choose. But maybe, you won't know for 20 years, and you may never ever trace it back to its source. And you only get one chance to play it out. Just try to plan out your own divorce. And they say there is no 'fate'. There is...it is what you create. And even though the world goes on for eons and eons, you are only here for a fraction of a fraction of a second. Most of your time is spent being dead or not yet born."
You as a person...Are significant. You Do matter. And Just because everyone else does too...doesn't mean that no one doesn't, even though you may feel that it is the case. You Are only here for a fraction of a fraction of a second...but what you have to realize, you make the gears of world that we know going. You make choices everyday that have an affect on me somehow, and I may not even know you.
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But that isn't good enough for us, is it? We want to feel wanted...needed. We want the attention of the whole world. We want Proof that we are here for a reason...
We search and search for nothing less than proof.
We question ourselves. "I'm just a spec, why do I matter? No one would even notice if I was gone..." We question our worth, feel neglected, over-shadowed by everyone else.
The more...
The less...
However you think about it...we want answers.
Who created the universe? Why?
Who created the earth? Why?
Who created humans? Why?
Who created me? Why?
Why...are we here?
Why...am I here?
Why not me?
Why...me?
Why...
Do you see a pattern? We always have another question.
...why?
Why anything? Someone knows, right? Maybe.
And because we have to have these answers, we attempt to explain through:
Ignorance...
Theories...
Science...
Faith...
God...
Or...
Or? (For the sake of simplicity...I'll be referring to the "Truth" as God. Don't take that as I mean the Christian or any other God, I'm not cheering for any explanation."
What if life as we know it...in all it's glory, it simply an explanation for something else?
What if what most people refer to God as...is nothing more or less than what you want to be yourself? Omniscient. Maybe God is just another person, in his/her/whatever own Fucked up world, just like you...trying to make sense of it all? Maybe we are all creations of another imagination to explain things. Maybe...they are Not perfect? But to us, in our small...small realm of perception, we only think they are because we are ignorant. And our "God"...has their own God they are trying to figure out. They have their own lives...their own shit to deal with.
If everything is connected...
Why... not?
No matter how big or small the aspect of life you put under a microscope...or how clear cut the answer may seem...if you look close enough, there is always some gray. And within the gray...black and white...it never ends. That is the curse of being human: We Are Ignorant.
Paradoxes are a bitch aren't they? So is Life. Get over it. Enjoy the good times, and take the bad with a grain of salt.
I'm just sayin'...
