Thursday, May 21, 2015

Fickle and Ish - Better Bed Her Best (While In The Word World) - A confession to my yet-to-be-seen love through all of these, at least, seemingly unnecessary words and pauses that just can't be surpassed "..." and oh how it leaves us to wonder.



Musica optional as always.

For some upfront clarification, this a minor exploration of the major limits of The Word World. There are three main characters: Myself who never talks aloud, except sometimes in Ish's head, Fickle, who is separate from our understanding of the world, and Ish. This is an intentional Word World War, in which, Fickle and Ish are quaintly caught writing out their love for each other in The Story Book, and they aren't quite exactly sure how their chapter goes... or are they?

Fickle and Ish are forever-lovers, bonded together for eternity in complete harmony, although they forget it sometimes... some would say even too often. They are commonly portrayed as a rabbit and turtle respectively, and while Fickle might be just that, she can have a bit of a bubble-head on her too. Hey! She I.S. always dainty... at least, that is how I, Ish, think about her. As I hope you just perceived with my word choice: For such a beaut, one should think it to be wrong to describe my wife of forever love in the way I think about her, instead of the way I feel about her... I mean, she is THE ONE, right? Yes, she is. There is no question about that.  One can hope you just did see me do wrong by thinking over feeling when it comes to her, my love, because that would save us a whole world of fine lines that I was about to have to go through, not to mention the further suspension of right now's time-span. --- That would mean that you already went through this headache two, also while knowing what it is like to understand this of what I am talking about here. Are we in understanding? --- /Phew! Good. Then it is all uph^ll from here.

In some cases, though, I no that some r know so smart... myself cludedin... as seen there, os, here be the short version: I am just words, sent from a far off place that even I do not know the home of. Somehow they hold more meaning than I intend, and a feeling reaches out and plucks heartstrings that make notes that will also never let go of their own rings. Somehow, we as a people are doing... God... what am I saying?...have been doing... this since the first recording, and again, here, now... logically... simply spelling out my love for the woman, and man!, that we both cherish dearly.

I am just words sometime in the past written that you perceive as more than that. Who can help against it? Why would anyone want to?

But what remains, what matters, ThE qUeStIoN iS: Why are you giving me another thought? --- Is it because I am saying, HAVE A FEELING TOWARDS ME?

Or is it because we both know that I am really asking you to? 
-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~

Love? Fickle? Totally.

-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~

Are we all not alone in our own existences, trying to let ourselves out?
-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~

No, what you are seeing is nothing more, but lines and curves on a backdrop.
-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~

I am here... I mean ... we are here... to read between the lines... the story sends and then it ends.
-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~

So, what am I trying to do?

... I don't know how else to put this, but the other half of me is out there waiting to be seen.

For this  He says the wro.... hmm                             ...     what just happened? Well, that isn't quite right, what did I just do...                                         ...

Gah!

What?

GAH!

WHAT?

I smudged! You in particular!  ng thing time to ... more like what didn't I just do? Gah! That is the real problem! I can't leave it like that, but buh!, it's not like I can go back now! There is not a back button!   

Then there is no worries.

Easy for you to say, you didn't say it!

....    

Please don't "...." me, it doesn't feel right.

Sorry, sir.

Me too.

About?

Oh! That is right, thank you for reminding me. OH, what too do?

                                                                                                time. Like now. He racks his brain              

W.H.A.T. I.S. I.T. I.S.H.?                                             about                              

                                                        ...

"..." is what I am sure you are probably saying to yourself at this point. I mean.... well, you know, something along those lines... I do apologize for the possible confusion, I thought I was practiced and was just going to get this all out in one fluid go.

Wait!, no! You are telling it wrong!                              ...            ....how?    ....well... do I not get a say?

There was one... and on second thought, doesn't your question lend itself to you telling it wrong, by you not saying your piece?

Doubt it.

.... 

... doubt what again?

... what.

I am admitting that I regret hitting the wrong button, for see what that kind of mistake continues to do!  Oh, good, that underline button hit itself that time. Coincidence? "..." I think not.

It sounds like you are doubting it.

Are you asking me, or telling me?

There was a period there, wasn't there? 

True, but how you said sound and you, didn't sound like a statement to me. So to clear the air, which mistakes throw people off again?                                                                                                                                  

.....                 beats me.                                                 how to fix what isn't understood and where it went wrong. (Probably where I broke the Ish line up there, just a hintful guess.)  She /huffs for some reason and then soon enough continues, before Ish can have another thought.


Wait... I think I know what you mean or getting at... this "..." ... I mean, and I do 
mean... She sneezes suddenly and Ish doesn't bless her. Wtf Ish? That isn't polite, do you like to be sick? I thought so. ...umm... In her defense, it is rather hard to explain. (But I thought it was a "feeling" I hear you think.) ... I, gees this is hard. That's what she said. Okay, what I mean to say in a round about way, I don't mean these "..." (Ish thinks it unnecessary for her to repeat her points so many times, but he luckily doesn't let her onto his position on that standpoint. to be thought of as "points", for they are neither point or lines... I mean, you kinda have to squint your eyes to add them together to be right in with what you mean, that is, if you want they to understand you and the story.

You mean, "them", right?

Whatever.

Ish expresses a grimish look. Fickle thinks he wears that mask well. Well, sure honey, literally, those are "points"... I mean... "'...'s'", or whatever the hell you want to call them... , Gah! Again , that isn't the point I meant to get into!


Will someone...anyone...please invest in a back button?! For sanity's sake!?

Ish is then seen trying on a darker shade of mood on the account he recalled his use of "whatever", and the lack of imagination he sees in actually using a word like that. He thinks that surely there is a more trying word out there, waiting to be found and properly used. If there are such limitless, literal ramifications within the word world of "whatever".... he means to find them, those more accurate and descriptive words that capture and make-up for the lackluster expressions coming out of the grandest umbrella term ever, in those moments that are missing it, of course. --- Don't fret however, he is more upset over his little outbreak towards Fickle he had up there, somewhere. ^--- /shrug.

Ish thinks he knows that she didn't deserve it, but that is why it was so reassuring when she chuckled at his attempt at fishing for another word than whatever to make-up for his lack of care he put to her then there before. The umpteenth reason Ish has found to love Fickle, a reason not to...still 0. Pretty impressive after eternity, eh?

Com'on! Like a tangent, I am having to come at these people from an angle... there has to be some give to it, it isn't like I can literally just hand this over to them and show them ... I can only tell them, graze the surface, and hope it takes ahold and pray that they get it; when it comes to words off the top of your hat sweetie... there is a tendency for a point to slip, or two. Hence, the flawed past and our presenting future.

To speed you up-to-date out of the dip in the relation, as if on queue, the wind turns the page and Ish must gather the back before it goes too far. It takes him a moment of fumbling with the pages to distract us out of their funk, but we get it done together, naturally.


Ware only letters after-all. I realize I am trying to tell these good folks reading, our story, and that I fudged it up by thinking about it. How can I let my feelings for you flow freely across the page, if I hesitate my own thoughts about us?. Which I don't mean to sound bad, but that is how I feel... that I let you down Fickle when I held you back in my mind. 

Aren't we all a bit forgetful at times? 

I am mainly sad at this point that our Optimum Play has ben forever smudged             ....          Guh!                                                            ...

Ish is a bit perturbed at Fickle not noticing the miss-type he tries to make light of later, by pointing at it and half-earnestly laughing, after being "down about it" in the first place... oh wait... you aren't there yet. Whoops! My bad, you will see it right through what I just blocked with these few lines I "accidentally" cough put here. Hey, what can I say? We all get in the way sometimes. Yes...

even the semi-ominous narrator. That is forethought for you. Anyway, now back to the story.

I did it again to our story, I smudged it with a miss-type! What good am I? Why am I the one writing when I can't even write right?!?! Ish sighs and looks at Fickle, awaiting her disappointed response at his second mess-up that is forever ingrained in their story. If we only knew. Look Fickle, He half-laughs and tries to point out the mistake to make light of it, and just as he is about to explain what and why it might have happened, he realizes he must first explain the following for it to fit. damn these letters that keep getting in the way! Now I can't even point out the mistake I want to right until I write out to about here~ish.  Spac ^...es, oh how you get in the way and save the day! Haha... finally, there is~ish the pointed arrow!  
   Insert Fickle's dead-space I mentioned preemptively that makes Ish so uncomfortable as he is now.   I did it again, didn't you hear? He shuffles in place.

She /coughs after a look of concern and question.

He /scratches his head with some disappointment across his face and then remembers what is next to be said.


Babe, I don't mean to be brash ... you know I only mean to make you blush... She does exactly that, but here we are wasting our precious paper going on back-and-forth like this trying to point our mistakes out to each other, when I really think we should get back at the task at hand. Enjoying each other's company. She is almost beaming now. Now, will you please cooperate? We are wasting space! her face swiftly drains to dim, daunting colours through the display of horrible husbanding ... 

                ... If I remember correctly, I put my hands on my hips as I saw myself pain her. 

...well... I thought for awhile, but it mustn't have been too long, because I had enough time to think this and that up before Fickle said that.

Gar. I know we messed up Ish, but it will be okayish ... I mean, "Okay." We've gotta keep positive. Sorry, Ish. Just keep doing well in Word World like you have at some points been doing, and know that it will all be okay, if we write it all that way. Also, I also too apologize for wasting space.    .    .                                      

Well then ... yeah, you are imagining all at the same time, her face becoming full of scorn, somehow mixing  perfectly with a 100% of pang. It was such a bewitching sight to behold, especially after she had to wipe away that tear with force so that she could see...ish... Ish... what travesty did you just get us into? we are in agreement. 

Fickle... I... I didn't mean...

Yes, you did, don't make it bad by lying about it. You always mean

Fickle, don't be like that.

Ish, you are wasting space just like you asked me not to. Go on. She says "on" with a catch in er throat.


With one wasted sigh, Ish recalls where he left off of their story.

Oh yeah... He says with something else to say on his mind. for HER rather, gees, how could and why would I call her "this"? --- How awful for me to think of her that way... she deserves better...

Better bed her best, I suddenly found thinking, and then soon after, feeling... all that is Myself.

What deserves to be felt... by me at least...  is her... I remembered.

That is right! --- Watch those grubby hands, ladies and gentlemen. Get your own Fickle!


What followed was the feeling that thought held, whichever one and whatever you wanna call it. And since it was honestly good, when we both found each other seeking it at the same time, because great minds DO that... -~think-~ alike, we knew we were made for each other in that very instance. We were made in same breath that brightened the first idea that told  us forever simply...I.S. is wha(what?) you manifest it.

Well... 

...I don't know about you...

....But we thought...


Why not leave our Love Story on the idea of a good emotion? 


So. We. Did.

After It Became The End Of Our Story.
--------------------

So sorry, but Ish insisted on a P.S. as he figured one should be read...
I already told him of a pretty purple one coming up, but when does he listen?, especially to me "...", I mean, talk about a ficklish character. So, here and there makes the two we have.



Oh, look what we just did and will continue to do, in good, honest faith... and that is... don't let your children forget this now...


We spent time together without exactly talking to each other, and that is all that matters. That is all these words say...

At least.

Yeah, what they said...
You know, to each other in the post script word world...

...writing themselves for eternity.

Thursday, May 7, 2015

♏eans Well - Essence Poem #8

"Scorpio (Justified Suicide)"

I want to restart
So I have to die
Death is only a door
Into my windowless pine
...Where is a good place to live...
Is it underneath the world
Or above the blue sky

I don't regret these memories
But I have run out of time
For I did not grow old enough
Within my limit of prime
So I must go again
To the end of the line

I am not selfish
I just felt it like my kind
Heavy doth my body grow
As it decays from life to nigh
I did not think strife could be so, would be so, wry

You see, I am this poisoned skin
Coated in lye
Shedding to keep a promise
To the one I should have never broken when, oh-oh, why

Withering away the sin
A good way I think, I try to find
Oh-Oh, just where have you been

For burdened was my mind
Until I found you my friend

Again, at the end, at the end of the line.